Body Image?

This post was much longer and more organized, but my computer was unplugged and It erased most of it.

This post was supposed to be done by last thursday, but I wasn't very motivated. I feel fake when I write something that I am forced to write. Most of the time, as you can see with my other posts, I tend to write better in the early morning. So here is that post, written mid-day, finally.

Wait before I start I would like to say that I am aware that the text size has changed throughout the posts. The site messed up or something, and made one post in three different font sizes, so now I keep them all small, because I don't want that to happen again. OK...

We are supposed to write about body image. I used to tell myself, "I don't care what other people think about me." I was lying to myself. Physically speaking, I wanted people to see me as a respectable person, not a beach bum. I try to dress reasonably clean (but I hate ironing clothes, who doesn't?).
I realize that this blog, as I understand it, is supposed to be about physical body image, like: "I feel fat, or I feel too skinny." I don't really struggle with those things, my struggles are more internal. I am more concerned if people see me as a good person, do people think I am who I present myself as.
A lot of the time I will catch myself saying things I don't really mean. An example would be (I don't do this anymore, but I used to in Jr, High and early High School)- If some one asked me If I have heard of a certain band, I would say yes, just to gain face with them. Now when someone asks me if I have ever heard of a band, and I actually have, I will be honest. I wonder if they think I am lying.
I don't really have a huge problem with being honest with others, I have more of a problem with being honest with myself. I like to ignore the problem, or recognize it and do nothing about it. By saying "I like to" I don't actually like to, I just tend to.
Did that make any sense? I feel like this entire post makes no sense. i have all of these ideas that I can explain in conversation but not written.
I am the kind of person who will put enough effort into something to produce a slightly above average result. If life was I test I would probably be getting a B. I will learn just the intros to songs on guitar, to show people that I can play guitar decently, I will only spend enough time on a paper to get an average grade, when I could do better, and I will clean the open floor in my room without moving or lifting anything up.
The thing that most bothers me with other people is their fakeness (is that a word?) and pride. I think they bother me the most because those are the things that I struggle with. You know when you get a new car or article of clothing, you start noticing more and more of them around. They may have been there the entire time, but once you got one, then you started being aware of them. Sam goes for me and my struggles. I see pride in myself, and it bothers me when I see it in other people. As far as fakeness goes...
I've noticed in the mainland (continental US) is that a lot of people are fake. In the whole Art Scene / Art World people are so concerned with presenting themselves as being "artsy". That bothers me. I know there are people who are genuinely artsy and think abstractly. I think like that, but I catch myself sometimes trying to make that my image, and I will exaggerate those qualities to make them bigger than they actually are. I want to be me. That is harder than it sounds.
I think caring what other people think is healthy in certain circumstances. It is kind of like that cliche quote that says something like "Always be evangelizing, and if necessary use words." If you are living out the Christian life, whatever that looks like, then others should see that. If others aren't seeing that, then you may want to look at your life. I don't mean they should be seeing you pray all the time or worshiping really loudly all the time, I mean that your character should reflect that of Jesus'.
Overall, I am a human trying to break this lukewarm lifestyle.